That is Why You Are the Reason Why You Are Suffering
Suffering is not inevitable in life, but many of us endure it somehow, even though it is our suffering most of all. But what is the reason that we suffer? What creates suffering in us?
Suffering is everywhere in the world. The people who are afflicted by war and also the children who are dying of hunger – yes, even in richer countries many people are suffering. It’s painful, it’s raw, and it’s not always visible. Unfortunately, it is a condition that has always shaped human beings. But what is even more unfortunate is that the cause of your suffering is yourself.
IN THIS ARTICLE, YOU’LL LEARN WHY THAT IS AND WHAT YOU CAN DO ABOUT IT.
First of all, we should clarify the question: what is suffering?
By definition, suffering is the state of going through pain or distress. One might assume that this condition is experienced only in war or in poverty. But this assumption is wrong because one can experience poverty under all circumstances.
In many everyday situations, our suffering sounds like, “There’s no point. I can not do that. Nobody will take me seriously.” Suffering in this case is nothing more than a thought in your head or an emotion in you. It is what determines the nature of your experience at that moment.
Simply put, it’s the name you give to describe your negative reflections and crappy emotional circumstances.
But why are we doing this? Why are we suffering?
Suffering is not inevitable. We could stop suffering. Humans are capable of suffering just about anything and if you are not careful you will suffer for the rest of your life. People suffer when they are well or when they are sick, when they are lonely or when they are with loved ones when they are rich or poor, and even when they are feeling well or feeling unwell.
People create their suffering.
With every experience we have in life, be it a relationship or the things we buy, we give meaning to it. We believe we know for certain about any event or series of events. All of this is just one way of looking at an arbitrary interpretation that we add to an event.
Anyone who gives us the right of way is a damn person. The woman who steals from the supermarket is a bad person. And so forth.
The reality is that there are many meanings for any given event. But the ones you know are the ones that exist in your head. And your mind explains those meanings with emotions—be it good, bad, crappy, great, or whatever.
The guy who gave you the right of way is probably not a damn person. Perhaps he was rushed to the hospital where his pregnant wife was giving birth. The woman may not be bad, just hungry and poor.
The basis of goodness and what you consider good is determined by you. And with this filter in front of your eyes, you walk through life.
This causes excitement and distress in almost every area of your life when you give meaning to it. So now might be the time to flip the script on what we attribute to our circumstances. And so we come to the most important point:
how do you stop your suffering
The truth is that you are not defenseless against it. you can control it If you can create suffering, you can create something else, right?
In short, it’s about your mindset. When you allow your mind to give meaning to your experiences, you can harm yourself. But if you allow your mind to dissolve that meaning, you can overcome suffering.
Let’s go back to the guy who gave you the right of way on the street. Tell yourself at that moment that he’s not a damn person and that he might be late for the birth of his child. Maybe he’s sick and needs to go home really fast, or maybe he just didn’t see you.
If you can create something for a moment, then you can create a certain sense of freedom from suffering for a moment. Once you’ve created one moment, can’t you just create another moment? Can’t you create another scenario in your head?
And then another and another? This is how you shape your life. When you master how to make your moments blissful and how to live blissfully, then you have made it and you are no longer a slave to your thoughts.
What is the difference between dissolving meaning and suppressing your feelings?
Repressing your feelings is when you ignore them or push them aside. It keeps you from acknowledging that you are feeling something.
For example, if the guy gives way to you on the street, you might get angry. Repressing that anger may mean you have to push the feeling aside, but that emotion of anger is still there. And it will still be there until you address it.
On the other hand, when you release the meaning that is causing your anger, you also release the emotion associated with the meaning. For example, you tell yourself that the guy needs to pee, and you know how that feels. The meaning dissolves, the feeling disappears and there is nothing left to suppress.
The point is that breaking down meaning requires a change in your mindset. It takes away your suffering and allows you to turn it into a moment of growth.
Suffering, especially everyday suffering, is not part of human nature, no matter what people think. So don’t think for a second that you are suffering. There are ways you can overcome your beliefs and become a better version of yourself.
And when your suffering disappears, joy appears.