10 Signs Your Relationship Is About To Fall Apart
The end of a relationship is one of the most painful experiences. Especially when you couldn’t see it coming. The events leading up to a breakup are sometimes obvious, but often difficult to see. When a relationship falls apart, it’s always good to get out early rather than trying to delay the inevitable. When you sense something is amiss in your paradise, look out for these signs that your relationship is failing.
You should also remember that every relationship has its ups and downs, and if you’re both determined to make it work, knowing the signs of a declining relationship should help you re-chart the course of your love life and to keep the flame alive.
Has my relationship failed? Signs that your relationship is falling apart
If your needs are not being met in your current relationship or you are not comfortable with your partner, then accepting the truth and learning about it is the right thing to do. And if you’re asking yourself, “Has my relationship failed?”, that should be the first clue. So what are the other signs that a relationship is failing?
1. Emotional detachment
Emotional closeness is at the heart of every relationship. If you feel like you and your partner are drifting apart emotionally, it means your relationship lacks interdependence. When partners stop caring about each other’s feelings and feel detached from each other’s emotions, their relationship is on its way to the end. As one study puts it: “Emotional availability is more important than availability when it comes to evaluating romantic relationships.”
2. Problems with self-disclosure
Do you open up to your partner? Does your partner love to share their achievements or the little details of their day-to-day work with you? Do you listen carefully to your partner and express enthusiasm or empathy? If not, then you both have self-disclosure issues and that is a surefire sign of a deteriorating relationship.
3. Subtle non-verbal signs
Often it is not what we say that matters, but how we say it. Has your partner stopped talking to you lovingly and tenderly? Have your conversations become mechanical and routine? Does he even bother to love you on the cheek before he has to turn it off for work? Many non-verbal signs point to whether your relationship is still warm or nearing an endpoint.
Sometimes, when we are damming up our dissatisfaction or apathy toward a partner, our frustration expresses itself as misplaced resentment. Every little weakness of this person starts to annoy us a lot, and this leads to quarrels about small things. Don’t make your partner feel left out or rejected in a relationship. Better structured communication can keep your relationship from becoming a thing of the past.
While we all need personal space, no healthy relationship should have secrets. If your partner feels the need to hide things from you, or if you no longer want to share your secrets with your partner, it may be a sign that you should reevaluate your relationship.
The lack of mutual respect is one of the signs that the relationship is deteriorating. While it’s normal for couples to occasionally argue and say hurtful things in the heat of the moment, when disrespect becomes the norm and one partner consistently experiences demeaning and degrading behavior, it’s time to consider the state of the relationship.
7. Dishonesty and distrust
It is said that trust must be earned and that it is a two-way street. Even if there is a grain of truth in these statements, you can be bombarded with probing questions and accusations that are beyond your control. If your partner distrusts you and constantly tries to control your movements, you have bigger problems than you realize. Even if you’ve been dishonest with your partner in the past, you may have lost their trust, and even if they say they’re over it, they may not be.
If a partner becomes defensive about anything, no matter how small, it can be an indication that they are hiding something from their partner. But if you have the habit of questioning their every action or decision, it can also send them into an indifferent mental space where they are always on guard to protect their feelings and their self-esteem. In a failing relationship, there are subtle signs of gradual deterioration as partners choose to be defensive rather than vulnerable with one another.
9. Lack of devotion
Do you feel less devoted to your partner and their needs than you used to? Does your partner feel and act fully committed to you? A lack of commitment can be a sure sign that something is wrong in a relationship. According to the famous Sternbergian theory of love, commitment is one of the three most important factors affecting the durability of a romantic relationship. Without love and commitment, every relationship is doomed.
10. Different expectations
When you and your partner realize over time that you have different expectations of your relationship, it can cause a rift in your happy life. Maybe your partner wants a job in Paris and wants you to go with him, but you want to stay in your hometown. Shifting priorities is often one of the most obvious signs of a relationship falling apart as partners take different paths to fulfill their respective ambitions and desires.
Let’s look at some more warning signs that your relationship is on the brink and is beginning to fall apart:
- You don’t spend enough time with your partner.
- You avoid disagreements to avoid communication.
- One or both of you are not paying due attention to what the other is saying.
- You don’t come home straight after work or come home late every night.
- You feel lonely even when you are with your partner.
- You are easily turned off by your partner.
- You don’t split up or make common plans for the future.
- Your married life is missing the spark.
- You feel sad or stressed more often.
- You refuse to see a relationship counselor.
Search for the rainbow after the storm
Communication is the key to a healthy relationship. If you have doubts about the future of your relationship, you should have an open conversation with your loved one. If things are beyond repair, you can always leave, but with the right help and determination, you both can also rebuild your deteriorating relationship.