If you are an empath, this can be especially damaging. Don’t give in to the narcissist.
An aggressive black man bullies an ethnic man. 5 stupid things narcissists ask of you. Narcissists, NPD, how to recognize a narcissist.
When you’re in a relationship with a narcissist, things can be extremely difficult. They believe that they are always right and above everyone else, including you. This leads them to think that you owe them certain things.
Empaths take on the joys and sorrows of the world. They feel that their job is to placate them, and so narcissists naturally attract empaths. If you are an empath, chances are you have a narcissist in life. The world is full of narcissists and it can be very difficult to spot them until it’s too late.
These 5 things, once you understand them, will help you recognize and protect yourself from all the crap narcissists think you owe them. If you’re an empath, the narcissist is likely to see you as a target. You need all the help you can get.
Your time and attention belong to them and them alone
Narcissists take up your time and attention. It doesn’t matter what other plans you have or if you don’t want to spend time with them – they always want a big chunk of your time. Since you are their friend, they feel it is their right to claim your time.
I’ve had the honor of living with a narcissist for 4 years so I understand. She knows I’m busy and yet she demands my time and attention and if I don’t give it to her, she gets it Tantrum. This can be really annoying because they make you feel like you’re a bad friend or lover. If you are an empath, there is a risk that you will give in to the narcissist’s demands – and that would usually be a mistake.
When you’re busy, you don’t owe anyone your time—don’t forget that.
They think everything is your fault, even when it’s not
If they wake up late it’s your fault – if they lose their key it’s your fault. For them, everything is your fault. It has something to do with their misguided sense of superiority. They can’t be wrong and their oversized ego can’t have made a mistake, so they find another culprit – you.
When you refuse to take responsibility, they accuse you of not caring about them — and if you’re an empath, that can be especially damaging.
Narcissists demand that you feel guilty about trivial things
They will try to make you feel guilty for things you couldn’t do. They already think you’re responsible, so it makes sense that they also think you should feel guilty about it. It doesn’t matter if you did something wrong or not, they will make you feel bad. The narcissistic friend I was telling you about earlier kept blaming me for little things like “the dishes are dirty,” even though she was the one using them.
For an empath, guilt is part of it, and narcissists will try to take advantage of that as best they can. They make you feel bad, and if they do this constantly, it can cause your self-esteem and esteem to drop, and this could be the perfect opportunity to manipulate you.
They feel indebted to you for being nice to you in the beginning
This is an important point. When a narcissist walks into your life, s/he may seem like the nicest person you know – this is to gain your trust and after a while, you may start to think that maybe s/he is actually the is the only person who is nice to you.
You feel like you’ll never find anyone who will treat you as nicely as the narcissist – wrong! When they realize this, they feel like they’ve done you a big favor and that you owe them something.
They will constantly make you feel like you owe them a lot for being so nice to you, even when no one else does, and they will make you believe that too. This can make you want to stay in a toxic relationship, even if it does more harm than good. Believe me, I know how that feels. I spent 4 years with my narcissistic boyfriend just for this reason. It took me forever to figure it out.
They demand your freedom and won’t let you mess with them.
This is the hardest to spot because you probably think they want what’s best for you. My former narcissistic girlfriend tells me what to wear, where to go, who to find, how to use my time and at worst she has tried to dictate who to date – her!
This is why I ended my friendship with her and never looked back. She wanted full control of my life and that’s not okay. No one should have that kind of control over someone else’s life. If you notice that someone is trying to control everything you do and has no respect for your own opinions, ideas, and preferences, you should run in the opposite direction.
Narcissists can be a real pain, but sometimes we can’t avoid relating with them because we don’t know they are narcissists until it’s too late. With the things I have explained to you, you should be able to spot a narcissist as soon as possible. To make sure you get it, let’s go through the list again:
- Your time and attention belong to them and them alone.
- They think everything is your fault, even when it’s not.
- Narcissists demand that you feel guilty about small things.
- You feel obligated to them because they were nice to you at first.
- They demand your freedom and won’t let you meddle with theirs.
There are many more things narcissists ask of you, but these particularly caught my eye when living with one. Keep in mind that this is not meant to mean that narcissists are bad people. It aims to provide an explanation of why and how they do what they do. Thanks for reading and have a nice day!