Modern relationships scare me
Modern romantic relationships scare me because it’s impossible to get away from someone you’ve loved. You find it hard to move on, to tell yourself that you can live without it, because you always see it on the screen of your laptop, phone or tablet.
Even if you try to erase all traces of his existence, if you block and delete, there is always a friend of a friend who will post a photo with him or a Facebook memory that will make your grief come rushing back.
Turning the page is hard – and it seems no one wants to. Your ex will text you out of the blue when you feel like you’re doing just fine without him. He will ruin all the progress you’ve made by wiping it out with a text message in which he tells you, when he’s drunk, that he misses you. He’ll make sure you keep coming back to him, even if he’s already made it clear to you that he’s the wrong person for you.
Modern dating scares me because there are a million different types of relationships. Serious relationships. Open relationships. Almost relations. Casual relationships. Relationships by SMS. Situations.
Even though it seems like there are more relationships than ever before, no one really wants to define relationship. These people want to see where things are going. They want to avoid labels, even though without labels it is easier to suffer. One conversation could resolve everything, it could clear up all the mixed signals, but those conversations rarely happen.
Modern relationships scare me because cheating is easier than ever. You can download a dating app and swipe the options on your couch, at your desk, next to your own partner in your own bedroom.
You can send photos which will be deleted automatically, erasing all traces of infidelity. It’s safe to flirt with someone you’ve never seen again, but with the help of social media you can continue contact, you can make an inappropriate connection without realizing it. You can lose the person you love without ever seeing it coming, without understanding the warning signs that they are ready to go astray.
Modern relationships scare me because everyone is watching your love blossom. They see the photos you post and either find it cute or roll their eyes. They make unconscious assumptions about how long the relationship will last.
And when you break up, it’s not private. Everyone notices when your profile picture turns into a passport photo. They understand quickly. It’s intimidating knowing that everyone on your friends list knows if you’re single, in a serious relationship, or jumped from person to person.
Everyone has an opinion about your love, even if they’ve never seen you together in person. Your relationship is none of their business, but social media makes them feel it is.
Modern relationships scare me because they are a breeding ground for abandonment issues. They can end without warning. They can end with a text — or a text with no response. Without a face-to-face conversation, most questions go unanswered.
Most wounds remain open. It’s hard to accept losing someone when you have no idea what you did to scare them away, when you’re not sure if it was their fault, or bad timing or bad chemistry.
Modern relationships scare me, because no matter how much effort you put into it, it’s useless unless the other person puts in their effort too.
