9 Questions to Help You Find Out If Your Relationship Will Last
At the beginning of a relationship, you are one heart and soul and could spend 24 hours a day together without getting on each other’s nerves. Everything is new, everything is exciting and that’s a good thing. But whether the flirtation has what it takes to become great love only becomes clear after months or years. To speed up this process, you can ask your partner the following questions. His answers will tell you a lot about whether you have the same basic attitudes when it comes to relationships:
1. “How much time do you need for yourself?”
No matter how in love you are: sooner or later everyone has to spend time alone. But how much time can and should you demand for yourself in a relationship? This is something you should discuss with your partner because everyone is different and has different needs. Do you have a quiet moment for yourself after coming home from work? Then you should communicate this to your loved one. But your friend also has the right to schedule some me-time without causing any drama. In any case, it should be agreed upon in such a way that both parties agree. And time apart is very good for a partnership because then new energy flows and you can chat about the events and experiences that each of you had during that time.
2. “How would you plan for a big win?”
Even though talking about finances is incredibly uncomfortable for some, if you’re planning a long-term relationship, you need to talk about it openly with your sweetheart. Because if one person throws the money out the window and lives in the moment while the other puts every penny aside, the two will probably be at loggerheads all the time. At the latest when you have a shared household, you have to be on the same level in these matters anyway. Plus, it’s a lot of fun and gets the butterflies in your stomach when you imagine a future together and can dream a little. When it comes to the question of what you would do with a lottery win, it’s less about being prepared if the worst comes to the worst and more about seeing whether you have similar values when it comes to money.
3. “How would you like to deal with your parents when they get older?”
Even if you don’t want to admit it, your parents aren’t getting any younger either. And that’s why you should talk about how you want to care for your parents in your relationship if they can no longer do it themselves. Should mom go to a nursing home or will she live with you? Is there even room for that? What about his parents? This sensitive topic must be discussed.
4. “How do you behave after an argument?”
Would you like to let the argument cool down, but your sweetheart wants to clarify it immediately? If you discuss soon how you would like to stay after an argument, it will save you a lot of trouble in the end. It is important that you simply talk it out again afterward and that no one feels like they always have to swallow their anger.
5. “Are you monogamous?”
Every person is different, so every relationship is different. The very word “relationship” is defined differently by everyone. How do you and your partner see it? For some, an open relationship is the only solution, others prefer not to have one at all. Either way, you have to discuss with your loved one relatively early on what expectations and wishes everyone has.
6. “Where does cheating begin for you?”
Logically at the beginning of a new relationship: you only have eyes for each other, and you are not interested in other people. But when this first phase of falling in love wears off, other people around you start to notice and the temptation is great. Are you loyal? Good. But don’t take it for granted that your sweetheart behaves the same as you. Just discuss it calmly. Is a contact cheating or even flirting in a bar? Or does cheating start with love?
7. “Wash up now or later?”
One of them is lying comfortably on the couch after eating and stretches out on all fours. And the other person can only relax when everything is tidy and the housework is done. An unpleasant topic, but one that needs to be talked about too. This is the only way to find out whether you should take time to find compromises before moving in together.
8. “How involved can my family be?”
If you secretly have a problem with your mother-in-law always coming over spontaneously or your father-in-law calling too often, you need to address it. Sit down together and figure out how much your partner’s family can contribute. Does there have to be a family meeting every Sunday or isn’t one a month enough?
9. “What are you into romantic?”
Couples often neglect this sensitive topic for years. But in an honest relationship, it’s important to tell your partner what your romantic preferences are and what you don’t like.