6 ways your relationship shapes your children
There are so many ways we shape our children – and much of it happens without us even realizing it.
No matter what we say to our children, they see everything, and actions speak louder than words.
One of the most important ways we shape our children is the way we shape our relationships.
Whether you are with your child’s parents or with someone else, they need to see a healthy and happy relationship.
No relationship is perfect, but children can tell when something isn’t right. Here are 6 ways our relationship shapes our children.
1. You teach them how to show affection
Children see and absorb everything like a sponge. When they see their parents in low-affection relationships, they grow to believe that this is how they should approach love.
Tender and loving parents show their children that affection is okay and necessary.
I will focus on how our romantic relationships are affected by our childhood experiences.
Our parents’ relationship is our first and most influential example of how we interact and communicate in a romantic relationship.
The way the love between the parents was shown affects the child.
That makes sense, because when you think about it, parents are the sole example of pretty much everything.
When you’re very young, you probably just assume that the way they do things is right — even when it’s not.
For example, if your parents weren’t very affectionate and rarely hugged , you may have an aversion to affection as an adult.
Children will model and imitate the way their parents show love for one another.
It is also important how the love was expressed to the child.
In a slightly different context, the point is that the way in which anger and conflicts were dealt with in the family of origin also has a major influence on how we communicate with adult romantic partners.
Whether a person tends to express their emotions more openly or whether they are more prone to passive aggression often reflects the way the parents communicated with each other and with the child.
2. You take your behavior as an example
When we are in a relationship, our children pick up the tendencies of the relationship. Suppose a child sees their parent in an abusive relationship.
Later, they may also choose an abusive partner or accept an abusive situation.
When their parents demand respect from one another and treat one another accordingly, their children learn to do the same.
3. Healthy relationships offer stability, while toxic relationships can create anxiety
Seeing their parents in healthy and stable relationships gives children a sense of security. However, when relationships are shaky or volatile, they may feel unstable, insecure, or anxious.
Most psychologists agree that all personal change begins with self-knowledge.
Begin to see where communication patterns, thoughts and feelings are coming from.
Think back to your childhood and try to remember the patterns you had in interacting with your parents.
Ask yourself these questions: Whose voice is this? Your adult voice, what you think and believe, or does it come from somewhere or someone else?
If your parents are still alive, you can also note how you interact with your parents now and then see how those patterns play out in your romantic relationships.
4. Your relationships lay the foundation for your children’s future relationships
If you want your child to treat their partner with respect, you have to set an example.
When little boys see their father treating their mother like she’s nothing, they will see it as normal. In the future, they may treat their wives the same way.
5. They influence the child’s attachment style
There are different attachment styles, from codependency to emotional detachment to healthy attachments. Depending on what children see of their parents, they will develop their attachment style.
6. Children learn communication style from their parents’ relationships
Communication is the backbone of all social and romantic relationships.
When communication channels are open and productive, children learn productive ways of communicating with others, including their future partners.
However, when communication is abusive, erratic, or deficient, children themselves can develop poor communication tendencies.
your relationships with others
It’s not just the relationship between you and your child that shapes development. So are your relationships with other people.
The way you behave and communicate with other people—for example, your partner, family members, friends, and caregivers—teaches your child how to behave toward others.
It also shows your child how other people will act in return.
When your child sees friendly and respectful relationships around them, they learn to be kind and respectful to others as well.
Your relationship will help your child get the most out of the game. Because your encouragement gives your child the confidence to explore, experiment, and make mistakes.
When your child spends a lot of time playing, talking, listening, and interacting with you, they’re also learning important life skills, such as learning how to behave. B. to communicate, think, solve problems, move and be with other children and adults.
And when you play with your child, it also strengthens your relationship. Playing together gives your child a simple message: I care about you. This message helps your child learn who they are and where they belong in the world.
Relationships: Life Benefits
Warm and loving interactions between you and your child build your child’s confidence, resilience and communication.
These are the skills your child will need later in life to cope with problems, deal with stress, and form healthy relationships with others during adolescence and adulthood.
Strong bonds and relationships from a young age also mean that your child will be more likely to have better mental health and fewer behavior problems later on.
By developing a warm, positive, and caring relationship with your child now, you will help shape the adult your child will become and provide a strong foundation for your child for the rest of his or her life.
8 ways to strengthen the parent-child relationship
Show your love
Human touch and loving affection are necessary for healthy emotional and neurobiological development at every stage of our lives.
It is important that your child receives gentle, loving touches (e.g. hugs) from you several times a day.
See every interaction as an opportunity to connect with your child.
Greet them with a warm expression, make eye contact, smile, and encourage honest interaction.
Say “I love you” often
It often goes without saying that we love our children, but tell them every day, no matter their age.
Even if your child is acting difficult or doing something you don’t like, this is a good opportunity to remind them that you love them unconditionally.
A simple “I love you” can have a huge impact on the long-term relationship with your child.
Set boundaries, rules and consequences
Children need structure and direction as they grow and learn about the world around them.
Talk to your children about what you expect from them and make sure they understand.
When rules are broken, you should provide age-appropriate consequences and enforce them consistently.
listening and empathy
Bonding starts with listening. Acknowledge your child’s feelings, show them that you understand them, and reassure them that you will be there to help them with anything they need.
Try to see things from your child’s perspective. By listening and empathizing with your child, you foster mutual respect.
play together
Play is so important to a child’s development. It is the means by which children develop their language skills, express feelings, stimulate their creativity and learn social skills.
It is also a fun way to strengthen your relationship with your child.
It doesn’t matter what you play. The most important thing is that you enjoy each other and give your child your undivided attention.
Be available and distraction free
Taking just 10 minutes a day to talk to your child without distracting them can make a world of difference in establishing good communication habits.
Turn off the TV, put away your electronic devices and have some quality time together.
Your child needs to know that despite the many distractions and stressors that come your way, you still make them a priority in your life.
Eat meals together
Sharing family meals often leads to good conversation and bonding with your child.
Encourage everyone to put down their phones or other devices and just enjoy each other’s company.
Meals are also a good opportunity to teach your children the importance of a healthy and balanced diet, which also affects their overall mental health.
Create parent-child rituals
If you have more than one child, try to spend time with each one of them.
Quality one-on-one sessions with your child can strengthen the parent-child bond, boost your child’s self-esteem, and let them know they are special and valued.
Some parents schedule special “date nights” with their children to create this opportunity (whether it’s a walk in the neighborhood, a trip to the playground, or just a movie at home—it’s important to treat each child individually).
