5 Signs Your Relationship is Toxic but You Didn’t Realize It
A healthy relationship can sometimes have some negative aspects, but these can be remedied with a little talk and a little effort. Toxic relationships, on the other hand, are a condemnation in disguise that has numerous signs of it but is not visible to the one in the relationship. Here are some surprising signs of a toxic relationship that you shouldn’t ignore.
Are you looking for signs that your relationship is toxic? Do you look at other people in happy relationships and wonder how to know if yours is one of the good ones?
Unfortunately, for many people, it’s hard to know when we’re in a toxic relationship. We are just too close and too deep and can be blinded in many ways.
Luckily, there are warning signs that your relationship is toxic. When you know what to look for, you can spot the signs that your relationship is toxic and make the tough decision of whether to stay or go.
Here are the signs that a relationship is toxic
Here are 5 surprising signs your relationship is toxic, and five signs to heed when you see them.
1. You free yourself from tiptoeing.
I have a client who is very confident in the world. Out in the world, he stands up for what he wants, is confident in his actions, and feels good about himself.
On the other hand, when he is at home, he feels insecure and insecure. He is quiet around his wife because he knows that if he says or does anything she doesn’t like, she will yell at him. He doesn’t take on projects around the house without her direction because he’s worried he might do something wrong. He spends a lot of time in the garage because he knows he’s out of harm’s way when he’s out of sight.
Do you break free from walking on eggshells around your partner? That you’re careful not to do anything that might upset him? Doing everything to make him happy?
If you answer yes to any of these questions, it’s a clear sign that your relationship is toxic. No one should feel awkward about being themselves in a relationship. Maybe it’s time you take a good look at your relationship and figure out how you fit in.
2. Your self-esteem is constantly at rock bottom.
Many of us who are in a toxic relationship don’t feel comfortable in our skin anymore. In some cases, it’s because we’re walking on eggshells and losing confidence as a result. Other times, we don’t feel comfortable in our skin because our partners keep putting us down, big and small.
I have a client whose husband never says a nice word about her. He never compliments her looks, the food she’s cooked, or how successful she is at her job. Sometimes he just stays silent and doesn’t say anything, which hurts her a lot. And sometimes he’s very direct and tells her that her dress is awful or that it’s just luck that she’s doing well at work.
This type of direct and indirect attack has slowly destroyed their self-esteem over time. They’re like a thousand little cuts that may not bleed much, but ultimately leave you bloodless. She no longer believes she is the amazing person others think she is.
Are you struggling with self-esteem issues caused by your relationship? If so, that could be a sign that you are in a toxic relationship that you might want to leave.
3. You are constantly ill.
When I was still unhappily married, I constantly struggled with health problems. I developed food allergies, some of them psychosomatic. I was debilitated by a yeast overgrowth that led to fibromyalgia. I struggled with chronic pain in my body and constant depression. I was about to collapse.
When we are in a toxic relationship, it affects our physical health. If we constantly live in a state of feeling cut off and unloved by our partners, maintaining good health is impossible.
Even if you exercise regularly and eat a healthy diet, chances are you’re struggling with health issues if your relationship is toxic.
Do you have chronic health problems? This could be a sign that your relationship is toxic. In addition to seeing a doctor, you might want to consider whether it’s time to escape, perhaps literally saving your life.
4. You see substance frustration.
When you’re in a toxic relationship, there are often signs of substance frustration, signs that are big red flags to look out for. And not just signs of substance frustration in your partner, but in yourself as well.
Usually, when people are very unhappy, they look for ways to overcome their unhappiness. In an ideal world, people would manage their dissatisfaction in healthy ways, e.g. B. through sports or therapy. However, in this harsh world that we live in, many people turn to drugs, alcohol, and infidelity to control their moods.
Ironically, substance frustration can make a toxic relationship even worse. Drug and alcohol frustration weakens the filters, and often people say and do things that they wouldn’t necessarily be able to do when they’re sober.
Problems that seemed manageable suddenly became less manageable. Tempers run high and emotional and/or physical frustration may ensue. When both partners are frustrated with substances, things can escalate quickly, causing damage beyond repair.
Substance frustration can also lead to depression. When we’re depressed, it’s even harder to deal with another person and impossible to feel good about ourselves. Even if your partner isn’t abusing substances, it’s a red flag that your relationship is toxic and something needs to change.
5. You have no more friends.
One of my clients was in a toxic relationship and one of the biggest side effects that he took a long time to realize was that his friends would fall for it and leave him alone with his problems.
Think about couples you know who are in an unhappy relationship. Is it fun to be with them? If you decide to go out to dinner with them, would you invite them? Does the time you spend with them make everyone uncomfortable and nervous? Are you that couple for your friends? The one no one wants to have anything to do with anymore.
Even if you’re still invited as a couple, your single friends may turn their backs on you if you’re in a toxic relationship. If you just want to talk about how unhappy you are and how much your partner bothers you, especially if you just want to talk about it and not take steps to fix it, you may find relief from your friends’ less desire to spend time with you
Life is hard enough without constantly letting an unhappy friend drag you down. So look at your friendships. Do your couple of friends still invite you to things to do? Do your personal friends make excuses not to spend time with you?
If you can answer yes to any of these questions, you may be in a toxic relationship and it may be time to fix it or get out.
If you know the warning signs that your relationship is toxic, it’s important to know how to get out of a relationship and how to avoid entering a new one.
When we’re in a toxic relationship, it’s often hard to spot because it’s our 24/7 reality, and having some clear signs of it instead of relying on your feelings can help you figure out what the next steps could be.
So if you need to break free from walking on eggshells trying not to upset your partner, if your self-esteem and health are on the decline, if one or both of you are substance frustrated, and if you’re losing your friends, it could very well be that you are in a toxic relationship that needs to be addressed NOW for you to take back your life.