Why Your Guy is Distancing Himself and How to React
Just a month ago, you were the happiest couple in the world and all your friends were envious of your funny and caring man.
Always making sure to surprise you with small gestures, to show how much he cares for you.
Or maybe you were just getting started and he seemed like the perfect match. He kept calling you, and kept starting topics of conversation; in short, a nice guy!
And all of a sudden, something changed. He is no longer the same person you knew. He becomes distant in every sense of the word and you start to question yourself.
Maybe you are the reason for such a behavior change. Or maybe you are paranoid?
So you decide to ignore the signs. And then anyway, you’re afraid he’ll ignore you if you try to talk to him.
But being in denial can’t work for long and sooner or later you’ll have to admit that it’s not your imagination and it’s getting away from you.
The panic returns.
What happened? Did I do something wrong? Is he losing interest? Will he break up with me? Why is he walking away and can I prevent this?
To help you deal with this delicate situation, here are some explanations that may explain his change of attitude.
1. He’s stressed out about something that has nothing to do with you.
In most cases, his estrangement is related to a stressful situation with his work, family, or other.
Men tend to think they have no right to talk about stressful situations.
They think they have to face it alone because if they don’t, they’re not real men.
It’s hard for them to accept that sometimes they just can’t control everything in their life.
This is the reason why they prefer to choose to hide in their cave until they find a solution to this specific problem.
2. You do something that causes him to walk away
Accept this hard truth: no one is perfect, not even you.
Sometimes your fears and insecurities take over and they transpire in the relationship, giving your partner a reason to take a step back from your story.
Maybe you don’t trust him, maybe you’re afraid he’ll leave even though he didn’t give any indication about it. Maybe you rely too much on him for your self-esteem.
Whatever the reasons, you somehow make him responsible for things that are uniquely yours.
Nobody likes having to carry the weight of others like that: conversely, it would bother you too, wouldn’t it?
3. It’s going too fast
It must be said what is: sometimes things get off to a rather explosive and passionate start.
You meet, you immediately fall for each other and all of a sudden, you spend the most seconds of your life together.
When it gets too intense, it’s often natural for a man to want to take some distance. Time to rebalance the relationship and calm down a bit.
When you think about it, it’s rather worrying to go very quickly and this “very” often becomes “too much”, with disastrous consequences.
So wanting to slow things down is quite mature on its own and helps build a healthier relationship.
4. He needs some solo time
Do you remember what it was like to be alone?
Didn’t you like your independence? Many people think that to be in a relationship, you have to sacrifice your independence.
This is not true.
But sometimes that’s how it goes.
When there is a new relationship, it can quickly become overwhelming.
He may feel like he is losing his independence. This threatens his masculinity, and to handle things he prefers to completely isolate himself from the relationship.
That’s not to say that this course of action is right, but he does so in the hope that things will get better.
So no matter how madly in love you are with each other, if he acts like he doesn’t enjoy being around you anymore, it could be because he just needs time and space to recharge.
5. He wants to break up
This is the major fear and it can be justified.
Here are some signs to look for:
Has he been ignoring you on purpose lately? Does he seem to pick you lice, to create trouble at the slightest opportunity?
Is he completely neglecting you and your desires? Is he lying to you or cheating on you?
If you answered yes to at least two of these questions, chances are he wants to break up with you but is too cowardly to do so properly.
Maybe the passion you once had is gone and he doesn’t know how to rekindle it.
If he cheats on you or ignores you, it’s his way of subconsciously pushing you away from him.
How to react?
It can seem awful when a man withdraws into himself. We experience it as a form of rejection.
You’ll be tempted to wonder if he’s testing you, but that’s usually not the case.
He is simply working on his thoughts and feelings.
So what is the best way to approach these different problematic situations?
First, do not let yourself be overwhelmed by fears and anxieties
Bha vui, it’s easy to say, of course, but it only makes things worse, in real life.
Don’t panic or get too emotional about a problem that may not be as bad as you think.
By making films for yourself, you risk seeing them come true.
Then consider the big picture
You need to watch all of these signs and not just one of them.
If he doesn’t pay as much attention to you when you talk to him and you feel like he just isn’t listening anymore, but is still initiating conversations and responding to all your messages, then you have to consider the possibility that he is distracted for some reason that has nothing to do with you.
Maybe he’s not feeling well or maybe he has something else on his mind that’s bothering him.
It is also very important to take into account how often these problems occur and for how long they have been going on.
If you’ve been dating for a year and he hardly ever canceled a date, then suddenly in a month he canceled three times, remember that’s just another month.
Don’t erase 12 months from your mind for a more chaotic month than usual.
Instead, consider asking him what’s going on. Without pressure, without judgment. Kindly.
Finally, also consider the difference in functioning between men and women
Another important thing to consider is that men and women are often different in their approach to love and problems.
A man may act in ways that you as a woman don’t intuitively understand.
But remember that your darling is not one of your friends.
Men generally like to deal with one thing at a time.
If he has a lot on his mind to think about, he may temporarily take his attention away from the relationship.
It doesn’t always mean he loses interest, it could just mean he’s overwhelmed.
Many women tend to freak out the second a man walks away.
They will start running after him, harassing him with questions, crying, begging but that will only cause him to back down more!
By doing so, they run the risk of getting angry with them for not respecting the fact that sometimes they just need space.
This creates what are called self-fulfilling prophecies, where your fears and the way you deal with them (badly), cause the dramas you wanted to avoid.
But when a guy is interested in you, you know it.
If he seems to be drifting away and you don’t know why, talk to him calmly. Feel free to step back and give him some space.
If he wants you, he will let you know.
And if he lets you go without blinking, that will also let you know where he is. This is valuable information that will save you from wasting more time on a doomed story.