The 5 Mistakes That Are Destroying Your Long Distance Relationship
Maintaining a happy long distance relationship is difficult and requires a lot of planning.
More than 1.3 million French people live their love from a distance.
One of the reasons for this is business travel: many people do not always work in the same city where they live.
As a result, some live in another city during the week and are usually only able to return home on weekends.
Another point is the subject of online dating.
More and more people are getting to know their partner through apps that automatically expand the search radius over time.
What are the most common problems in a long distance relationship?
A long-distance relationship puts love to the test.
On average, long distance relationships end after two to three years.
Either because the partners move in together or because they separate.
A small consolation: this means that the distance relationship lasts on average as long as other relationships.
The biggest downside of long-distance love is the lack of everyday life together.
In this way, no real closeness can be established and the feeling of unity is lost.
Also, there are different requirements related to this relationship.
While women are more open to the idea of a long distance relationship and can develop a sense of connection through phone calls, men are more reluctant to have a long distance relationship.
They need more activities and physical closeness to deepen the relationship.
And no, it’s not just about love.
You should not see this knowledge as a disadvantage, but as a help.
If you know the other person’s needs, you can better adapt to them and lead a relationship in which both feel comfortable.
The mistakes that make the long distance relationship difficult
Do you want to stay together at all costs?
Do you think your long-distance relationship has a promising future?
So, here are the mistakes you should not make!
1. Give up the daily conversation
Communication is the alpha and omega, not just in a long distance relationship.
But in this case it is especially important.
The question “Honey, how was your day?” is essential for the long distance relationship to survive.
Talk about your thoughts, your fears, and what’s affecting you right now.
This way you get to know the other person better and create closeness despite the distance.
Otherwise, it may happen that at the next meeting, a stranger will stand in front of you.
But please don’t just talk about your soul’s frustration, because that doesn’t make your partner happy.
Make an effort to describe moods and feelings, it makes a conversation more emotional.
Advice :
Instead of just texting throughout the day, you need to agree on fixed times when you can call each other.
Preferably even by video call.
Because when you see each other, you automatically feel closer.
2. Poor planning of face-to-face meetings
If you can see each other on the weekends, avoid piling on other obligations during that time.
If possible, do chores like housework during the week.
Set aside time together at the weekend for an informal and above all quiet encounter.
There’s no need for a heavy schedule: cook something delicious together or treat yourself to a relaxed breakfast in bed.
A relationship grows through shared experiences.
Advice :
Don’t overload the time with too high expectations.
You are only human beings and you may have had a stressful week.
Just enjoy the times together, even if things don’t go as planned.
3. Losing sight of the common perspective
Most couples hold on because they know that living together in the future is possible.
Even if it may take time for professional reasons, both partners should know that they are working towards a common goal.
Imagine together what your life together should look like when possible.
Warning: if you both dream of a life without the other, your relationship is going badly.
Ask yourself specific questions:
- Where will we live later?
- What will our house/apartment look like?
- What should our daily life look like?
- Would we like to have children, if so how many?
Whether these ideas actually come true at some point is almost irrelevant.
It’s about dreaming the same dream of a life together.
4. Expect a perfect match every time you see each other.
Expecting a romantic weekend like in a movie will undoubtedly lead to disappointment.
The atmosphere can sometimes be bad, even if the weekend has been well planned.
Your partner may initially feel strange for a while.
He needs to find his feet while you emotionally defend your territory.
After all, each of you is used to being alone.
Advice :
Communication is also particularly important here.
Talk about what’s going on inside you.
The partner cannot look inside your head and understand why you might be disappointed or frustrated right now.
5. Not sharing effort fairly
When it comes to additional costs or travel time, it’s important that no one feels advantaged or disadvantaged in the long-distance relationship.
Always check your agreements and leave no room for silent misunderstandings.
Anyone who feels left out, whether emotionally or financially, will walk away from the relationship very soon.
Advice :
Accusations never help!
Talk to your partner if you feel you have been treated unfairly.
But don’t fall for the accusations.
Explain to your darling what is going through your head using specific examples, then try to find a solution together.
Either by distributing visits more evenly, or by having a common “pool” in which you pool money for your meetings in person.
When should you abandon the long-distance relationship?
No matter how hard you try, some relationships aren’t meant to last forever.
Especially when one or both suffer more from the situation.
In a long-distance relationship, this is often due to the following reasons:
- long distance
- Lost trust
- Jealousy and constant reproaches
- Desire for your partner that is too strong and you can’t take it anymore
- Neglect of future projects
- You two no longer look in the same direction
- No hope of spending time together in the same place
How to end the long distance relationship?
If a breakup occurs, it is important to resolve it face-to-face.
Because nothing is worse than receiving an SMS with the words “I’m breaking up” after a few years of married life.
If a meeting is not possible due to the large distance, you should at least end the relationship by telephone.
You owe it to each other after your time together.
That way, both parties can have a say again, point out issues, and maybe even learn something to make things better in the next relationship.
