The 10 signs that prove that you are living a destructive love
Are you in a real relationship or in a destructive relationship?
Love makes the world go round but what makes love go round? Why do some relationships work and others don’t? It is difficult to answer these questions without going into the sentimental cliches that mean practically nothing and provide no answer.
It can be complicated to understand exactly why some couples bloom while others self-destruct. We all know that love requires work, investment, patience and communication. It is not easy to build a healthy, balanced and lasting relationship.
But, when both partners are invested and love each other, they always find a way to overcome their problems. Why ? Because they are sincere, committed and respectful of each other. On the other hand, if your relationship stresses you out and makes you doubt your qualities and the love you have for each other, you are surely in a destructive relationship.
A destructive love does not only jeopardize your couple. It is also dangerous for your state of mind and your mental health. Staying in a destructive relationship drains all of your positive energy and brings out all of your fears, weaknesses, and doubts. Your self-esteem also takes for its rank and you no longer know who you are.
So, to help you know if you are living a healthy relationship or a destructive love, we have prepared a list of 10 signs that will allow you to detect the negative points of your relationship and therefore the quality of it.
What is destructive love?
Are you living a balanced relationship or have you been carried away by a destructive love? This is what we will try to discover in the following ten points. Here, we have listed the main signs that will prove to you that you are trapped in a destructive relationship.
1. You accept your relationship as it is because others have a worse one than you.
A healthy relationship should be happy and balanced. If you think you can handle this situation, you are living a destructive love. The simple fact that you are satisfied with what you have in front of you shows that your relationship is unhealthy. After all, there are worse relationships than yours, right? Sure ! When you compare your relationship to another destructive relationship, it may look pretty good. But, how does it compare to other healthy relationships?
2. You think you can make your relationship work with a little more work and personal investment.
Of course, relationships take work. But when you’re constantly looking for ways to make your relationship work and ways to fix it, something’s wrong. This destructive love that you live prevents you from seeing reality: you are the only one trying to save your couple.
3. You argue all the time.
The destructive relationship first manifests itself in the need for control by one of the partners. This obviously leads to a lot of tension and arguments. Why ? Because you are not able to compromise and you lack respect for each other. Many people remain trapped in destructive love because they make the following mistake: they think that the passion and love between them is so strong that it leads to these excesses of behavior. But it’s wrong !
4. You go out of your way not to spend time with your partner.
When you’re in a healthy relationship, you crave quality time with your partner. But when you’re in destructive love, it’s hard for you to get excited about going home and seeing your significant other. If you’re looking for excuses not to be with your spouse and doing everything you can to avoid it (at least one-on-one), you’re in a destructive relationship.
5. Your partner uses fear, guilt and manipulation to control you.
A healthy relationship is based on the fact that two people have chosen to love, respect and support each other. If your partner is trying to take away your choice, it’s not because he loves you, but because he’s trying to control you to provide for himself. Needless to say, this kind of behavior is typical in a couple where destructive love reigns.
6. You wait for your partner to change.
Throughout our lives, we change. Some pass from selfishness to altruism, others become violent men. the problem arises when you sit there waiting for your partner to change. If he isn’t aware of the behavioral issues he has and doesn’t want to be a better person, there’s nothing you can do about it.
7. Jealousy, insecurity and lack of trust are the pillars of your relationship.
If your partner questions everything you do, your choices and your opinions, it has nothing to do with you. He accuses you of cheating on him? Does he ask you about your absences? Jealousy and lack of trust are often the telltale signs that your partner, himself, is not being faithful. This destructive love is not a good basis for a healthy relationship.
8. You feel guilty.
Maybe you’ve been with your partner for so long that you feel like leaving them would be cruel. You are unhappy but you stay with him because you feel sad for him. But, don’t forget: a relationship where one of the partners has to be satisfied with what he has in front of him is not good for the couple. It’s a destructive love that will ruin both of your lives.
9. You are financially dependent on your partner.
Many couples function perfectly well even when only one of the partners is working. They have found a balance. But, it can also become a trap for the person who does not earn money. Often, she stays because she doesn’t really have a choice. She does not know how to live alone or she does not see how to build her life separately.
10. You stay with him out of fear of being alone or for the sake of the children.
Needless to say, staying in a relationship because you’re afraid of being alone or because you think it’s better for the kids is a telltale sign that your love is a destructive love. This kind of relationship cannot be siane nor happy. One of the partners is ready to accept everything from the other, only to not be single again or to have someone to help him with the children.
Do you recognize yourself in these telltale signs? Is your relationship healthy or are you experiencing a destructive love? If you are one of the couples who are unhappy together, do not hesitate to take the big step: leave him! It may be difficult, but in the end, you will be happy and fulfilled. After all, you have to think about your future and put aside your fears and doubts to build a stable love life. Letting go of a destructive love may be the bravest thing you will ever have to do in your life, but it will be worth it.