Do men fall in love differently than women? And if so, how? We got to the bottom of the question and looked for answers for you.
Maybe you’ve experienced a similar situation before: You broke up with your partner and realized that he got over you much faster than you did. Maybe your ex already has a new girlfriend and is in love again.
This raises the question: Do men fall in love differently than women? Faster, more intensely, or in a completely different way? We have found answers to these questions.
The 4 Stages of Falling in Love
Men do indeed fall in love a little differently than women. That is at least what the American couples therapist John Gray says. He believes that men usually go through the following four phases when they are ready to let a new love into their lives:
Phase 1: Physical Attraction
Character is important. Of course. But first impressions and therefore appearances come first. Physical attraction is an important first factor for men too, which arouses their interest and makes the potential partner stand out from the crowd.
So from a man’s perspective, love at first sight is not necessarily so unlikely. Men feel physically attracted to their counterparts during this phase – at least that’s what John Gray says.
Phase 2: Emotions
In this phase, emotions are added to the initial stimuli. Men now develop feelings for their new acquaintances. Mind you: feelings of being in love. It would be premature to speak of love because phase 3 is still to come.
Phase 3: Personality Check
In this phase, men explore the whole package, i.e. the character and personality of their potential dream partner, says the expert. They get to know their counterpart more closely and more intensively, recognize what makes them tick, what they like, and what exactly they are looking for in a relationship. Are they loyal, loving, or humorous? Is the chemistry right? All of this comes into play now and is crucial to whether things continue or not.
Phase 4: Entering into a partnership
In the last phase, men usually fall in love and are ready to enter into a new partnership. The relationship becomes more committed and solid. He is convinced that it is a good fit. Men are now serious and ready for more.
Different order than for women
Interestingly, according to John Gray, the order in which women fall in love is different from that of men. For them, phase 1 is about the personality and character of the man. Only then do women allow emotions to arise.
Physical attraction (at least that is what psychological studies, especially those of the American couples therapist John Gray, say) follows in phase 3 before a woman then enters into a relationship in phase 4.
In other words: the phases of falling in love are different for women
: phase 1: personality check,
phase 2: emotions,
phase 3: physical attraction,
phase 4: entering into a relationship
So do men fall in love faster?
What can we conclude from this? If we follow the expert’s theory, men are more visual, which is why they are more likely to experience love (or attraction) at first sight. They can be blown away by their new acquaintance from one moment to the next.
This means that they fall in love a little faster than many women who first carry out a character analysis, says the expert. However, this does not affect the intensity of the feelings in a relationship. Because if a man is totally in love with his partner, then it is of course just as intense as it is from the woman’s side.
How does being in love manifest itself in a man?
Of course, it’s hard to say anything like that in general. After all, everyone is different. But there are a few fairly common signs of being in love.
One clear sign is, for example, when he keeps seeking physical contact – and we don’t mean that he wants to get straight into bed with the woman of his choice, but rather small touches like stroking her arm, holding her hand or brushing a strand of hair out of her face. Simply this feeling that he can’t keep his hands off her when he’s sitting opposite her.
Men in love also want to see their new acquaintance as often as possible and spend time with her. They’ll even put hobbies and friends aside for that. And: He’s more likely to forgive her for her weaknesses and mistakes than others and is more lenient in his judgment (an advantage of rose-tinted glasses!).
And one more thing: men in love are often (not always) so wonderfully attentive that later, when you are with them and this attention wears off, you rave about them for a long time.
