If it was right, it would have continued

If it was right, it would have continued

If it was right, he would have found you.

If it was right, it would have lasted.

If it was right, it would have been yours.

But it wasn’t, at least for now, it’s not meant to be yours. It’s not meant to come find you. It’s not made to happen the way you want it to.

And maybe it doesn’t make sense, maybe your gut is telling you otherwise, maybe your heart hurts without him, and maybe you can’t bear to lose him . You can’t let the world win. You can’t give up because it was all you wanted and wanted.

It breaks your heart . But because you want it so badly, because you want to do the right thing, because you want to stand up against the world and you want it to happen.
So you keep trying and giving even though you get nothing in return.

You keep thinking about people who are living their lives and those who are missing and you don’t think about yourself.

You think that if you change this one thing about yourself, you will be able to get what you want.
You think all you need is more time to convince someone that you’re worth a shot.

You spend your days and nights planning perfectly what you’re going to say when you see them and what you’re going to do to make them feel the same way.

You lose yourself.

You become the person you never wanted to be. The person who forgets their own worth, the person who lowers their standards to get someone’s attention and love.

You save everything you really want to say to yourself or do to yourself so that you don’t push that person away because you don’t want to lose them.

So you choose them before you. You lose yourself to keep them.

And it breaks you even more. Because it’s not love, at least not the kind of love you want.

It’s not without effort, it’s too much effort, the effort that only you make.

It’s not true because you’re manipulating someone into liking you.

It’s not real because you go against your beliefs to keep someone who isn’t afraid to lose you and sometimes you still lose them after all you’ve done.

And it leaves you with scars that won’t heal.

Because it wasn’t fair, it wasn’t supposed to happen.

If it was right, it would have continued.

If it was right, you would have been loved.

If it was right, God would have touched both of your hearts, not just yours.

If it was right, you would have had the biggest smile on your face instead of those tears in your eyes.

So maybe we just need to believe that what isn’t meant for us will always pass us by no matter how hard we try to keep it and what’s meant for us will always find us – even in the middle of nowhere.