7 Common Manipulative Phrases and How to Turn Them Off
Can you spot manipulative sentences formulated with the sole purpose of controlling your thoughts and actions? The following article will help you turn off manipulative phrases in a relationship.
People don’t choose to be manipulated because they are worried. Manipulation is just “control” disguised as love. Their ability to look like affection can make them one of the most insidious forms of abuse.
“Just because something isn’t a lie doesn’t mean it isn’t deceptive. A liar knows he is a liar, but someone who tells only parts of the truth to deceive is a craftsman of destruction,” wrote Criss Jami.
Don’t let a manipulator’s sweet words take over your life. Hold on to your sense of control and make your own decisions. If this manipulation becomes a pattern, you should consider leaving the relationship. Manipulation is not only controlling, it is also deeply selfish.
There are some common thought patterns that manipulators like to exploit to get their way. Luckily, you can turn them all off with common sense.
7 Common Manipulative Phrases
Here are seven examples of manipulative phrases, each followed by a logical and self-appreciating response:
1. “Look what you made me into!”
It’s not in my hands to make you anything. You chose to respond the way you did. You must take responsibility for your actions. I can only stand up for mine.
2. “How can you still be mad at me after I bought you that beautiful necklace?”
Money can’t buy my forgiveness. It was very kind of you to do that. However, if this necklace depends on my forgiveness, it is not a gift. She is a bribe. you can have her back
3. “Don’t take that off”, “Let me check your phone”, “Who have you texted?”, “It’s not you I don’t trust – it’s other people”
You don’t have to trust other people. You just have to trust me to be faithful and honest. If you behave like this, you assume that I am either a scammer or a very weak person. I’m neither.
4. “I want you to stay home because it’s what’s best for our kids. I just want to take care of you.”
The best thing for my children is to have a mother who is happy and healthy. The decision to work or stay at home is mine. By doing what makes me happy, I teach our children to be in charge of their own lives. Am I being forced into a way of life I don’t want and being taken care of? Or does it mean you have more control over my life? (Note: This can also work the other way around, with a controlling partner forcing their partner to do unwanted work).
5. “I know it’s very important to you, but you have to do it my way. That’s what’s best for us.”
The best for us is when we make the decisions as a couple. It is best for me when my contribution is heard and respected. Is your way the best for us, or is it the best for you?
6. “If you leave, I will hurt myself.”
If you are having thoughts of harming or killing yourself, you need to call 911. You can also call the Suicide Hotline at 1-800-273-TALK. I’ve already made my decision. I have stated my reasons for doing so. I won’t come back
7. “I know you don’t want kids right now, but let’s try anyway. I just want us to be family.”
Family can take many different forms. The commonality between them is a sense of mutual respect. I have the right to decide how many children we have and when we have them. I’ll tell you when I’m ready.
As CJ Roberts writes in Seduced in the Dark, “I’ve been doing this for a long time—manipulating people to get my way. That’s why you think you love me. ‘Cause I broke you down and rebuilt you for you to believe. That was no coincidence. When you put that behind you, you will see that.”
Sometimes you have to detach yourself from the manipulation to see it for what it is. Sometimes all it takes is a well-placed rebuttal to stop the manipulation. Be suspicious of manipulations and don’t be afraid to leave them. Only you have the right to determine your own life.
So those were some common phrases that manipulators use to gain control over you. How did you get rid of the above article about manipulative phrases?
Did you find the above manipulative phrases and their counterarguments helpful? What manipulative words and phrases have you encountered in your life? What are some other things manipulators say?
Let us share your experiences with emotionally manipulative phrases by commenting below.