12 Reasons Why Finding True Love Is So Hard
Relationship experts decided to find out the reasons that prevent people from building harmonious and lasting relationships.
Despite the development of social networks, loneliness seems to be becoming something of a pandemic. About 50 percent of adults have trouble finding a partner.
In general, people today are far more promiscuous and prone to short-term adventures than ever before. Both women and men have never had more partners, while at the same time claiming to have never had less love.
Once upon a time, people married all their lives, raised families together, and lived peaceful lives.
Today it is much more difficult to find a partner to live with. Experts consider the following 12 problems as the main causes of lack of love today:
1. Young people seek instant gratification
Today’s generation of young people in their 20s and 30s is also referred to as the Y generation, and one of their characteristics is the pursuit of instant gratification.
We grew up in a culture that encourages a desire for things, material but also spiritual, that can and should be attained now and immediately.
A status symbol in the form of a mobile phone, proof of intelligence in the form of a diploma, and mental stability through 100 pages of self-help literature. Everything is wanted immediately and there is no time to wait for the right values.
If we want food it’s there after a phone call, if we’re bored we use the internet, if we’re looking for an address we just type it into the navigation, if we want passionate stimulation there are love sites.
Such things have their practical side, but they permanently make us slaves to an unappreciated pleasure—because it is readily available and therefore unappreciated.
Pleasure thus becomes a habit, and habit harms the romantic side of man, for love is not meant to be an instant pleasure, but a long-lasting feeling and effort.
2. Today’s culture is built on vices
Vices go hand-in-hand with quick gratification, and modern culture seems to value vices—from excessive consumption of alcohol and cigarettes to drugs and various intoxicants.
It’s these substances that create the illusion of feeling good and having fun, a state in which we don’t need another person to make us feel fulfilled or happy.
Why bother seeking happiness in love when just a few glasses of your favorite beverage will bring happiness?
3. Lack of self-respect
Can you really love someone who doesn’t respect themselves? Experts say that this relationship is most likely based on guilt and will not have a happy ending.
In the beginning, you need to find your inner support to help yourself when you are sad and depressed.
It could be your achievements, hobbies, knowledge, or guiding principles—anything that matters to you and shows you how much you are worth.
4. It’s all about passion
In general, people today are far more promiscuous and prone to short-term adventures than ever before. Both women and men have never had more partners, while at the same time claiming to have never had less love.
love is increasingly separated from love as a separate pleasure, which encourages pleasurable relationships without attendant problems or commitments – like friendships with benefits and open relationships.
As a result, the partner is valued less and only perceived as a means of achieving pleasure.
5. People are driven by selfishness
Every individual in the world is selfish because fulfilling and maintaining one’s goals conforms to the theory of evolution in which the fittest survive, i.e. those who take care of themselves.
While there is healthy selfishness, one that does not allow an individual to be exploited, abused, or forced to want what is best for themselves is an increasingly unhealthy form of selfishness.
Thus, as a normal value, the focus is propagated exclusively on one’s own needs and desires, without thinking of other people.
The two egoists can never function together – and this is an increasingly common cause of the failure of romantic relationships.
6. Lack of compromise
According to the theory of egoism, there is a lack of compromise.
An attitude where a single mistake is enough to judge that someone isn’t our match or rejects us so we don’t give them a chance is very superficial.
Completely different values are certainly a barrier to a relationship, but the idea that there is a relationship where people agree without compromise is a total illusion.
7. There is no need for romance
The goal of any romantic relationship is to find a partner for a long-term relationship and start a family.
While this doesn’t always have to happen, such a reason for entering into a relationship brings a romantic aspect to the relationship.
On the other hand, people today enter into relationships for love, temporary entertainment, or with predetermined limitations.
These are attitudes like I won’t get married, I don’t want to have children, we’ll break up soon. All of this leads to a drop in romantic expectations and daydreaming and as such kills the idea of love.
8. Is love a priority?
Society’s cultural values tell us that everyone should focus on themselves and achieve their own happiness goals. While it’s important for everyone to have their own goal, it’s even more important to set the right goals for yourself.
The most important thing in all of this is determining which things have the right value.
For example, are we happier with a job that leaves us no free time but brings in a little more money, a partner is more valuable than moving to another country for advancement, and will we reject someone because they don’t fit into our pre-established plans fits?
There is no right answer, everyone should find it for themselves. Nowadays people put career and personal development ahead of love and love life.
9. Invasion of Privacy
There is an opinion that manipulation techniques can help repair a relationship. But no one likes being manipulated, or worse, someone trying to change us.
In any relationship, you should stick to certain boundaries. If you don’t like your partner’s behavior and they know it but don’t do anything about it, you have a choice to make: stay or go.
It is impossible to change a person who does not want to change.
10. Confusion
Today there is complete confusion about what love is and what true love should look like.
Numbers bombarded about the dwindling chances of finding the right partner for you, divorce statistics, and the like.
Teenagers, on the other hand, grow up watching Hollywood movies and fairy tales that have happy endings that everyone would wish for themselves.
Diametrically opposed ideas wreak havoc in an individual teetering between pessimism and optimism, and the only questions that remain are -What is love?- and -Is it even worth the pain?-
11. There is always someone better
Media, ad campaigns, celebrities on social media, and beautiful people photoshopped and smiling at us from the cover all convince us that perfect people exist.
Likewise, everyone wants to create the perfect version of themselves, and for that, you need the perfect partner.
Judgment based on physical appearance or other prejudices brings calculations into love issues, which is the biggest obstacle to attaining romantic and true love.
Likewise, leaving old partners for new ones who are better, younger, or more desirable decreases the chance of finding true love.
12. There is no gain without risk
Love is a very confusing thing, it is multi-layered, changeable, and complicated. One of the biggest problems today is that people have forgotten how to love.
People are not willing to make sacrifices, they have become calculated, measuring how much someone else has done for them so that they give back just as much.
People hold reserves of love in case they are left behind and pretend to be someone else. Love is a skill that must be learned, and there’s no shame in admitting that we don’t know how to love.
