10 Signs You’re Hard To Love
are you hard to love It may be hard to admit, but if any of these things apply to you, caring for and being close to you is likely a challenge?
Each of us can sometimes be a bit difficult to deal with. We get angry and act strange.
We get sad and frustrated. We chew loudly and leave our plates on the table.
Or we pick up all the plates and complain because we have to wash them. We all have a tendency not to be easy to get along with.
It’s honestly an essential part of human nature to be difficult. We all have our own will, and our way of being, and sometimes when we let our own will out without regard for others, we can be quite frustrating to others
I don’t mean to be offensive or create guilt. I believe it’s important to recognize our mistakes and the mistakes of others, not out of shame or spite, but so that we can all get along better over time.
Now, before you shake your head or turn away, I think it’s important to mention that no human being is perfect.
While we all have wonderful traits and wonderful parts of ourselves that offer something to others that they may need, we also have differences and nightmarish tendencies that can sometimes make us difficult to love.
1. You don’t know how to apologize
People who are hard to love never know how to apologize because they are stubborn. Apologizing and owning up to your mistakes, especially with people you love, is truly valuable and important in building trustworthy, lasting relationships.
If you make your special someone feel like they’re always wrong because you refuse to accept that you’re not always right, you have a problem.
2. You never compromise
If you can’t find a middle ground in your relationships, you’re definitely hard to love.
It’s incredibly difficult to love someone who never wants to reach out to others or find a way to make their partner happy too. If you like someone, shouldn’t you want to meet them halfway?
3. You are unpredictable
This should be obvious, but when you’re one of those people who can’t be understood or seen through by the people closest to you, that’s not always a good thing.
There’s something liberating about being dynamic and a little mysterious, but in a relationship, it can make you seem untrustworthy and unclear.
This in turn makes it difficult to love you because your partner doesn’t really know who you are and what they think of you.
4. You are fickle and unreliable
Unreliable people are hard to love because you can never count on them. When your partner, lover, or friend can’t count on you when they’re in trouble, it puts a strain on your relationship and makes it especially difficult for someone to truly love you. If you want people to love you, show them you’re reliable. Be there.
5. You hold on to old problems
If you punish the people who are in your life now for things that happened to you in your past, you are definitely hard to love.
I know from personal experience how difficult it can be to open up to someone and be vulnerable again in a romantic relationship (or even a friendship) after getting burned.
However, when you hold on to that negative energy and bring those impressions into your experience with a new person, it’s like making it difficult. It really doesn’t have to be like that.
6. You build up emotional walls
For the same reason, you put up huge emotional walls as soon as someone gets too close to you.
When you love someone, you have to let them into your life and into your heart. You have to know someone emotionally in order to love them. If you can’t let people into your life, you can never truly love or be loved.
7. You are self-destructive
If you drink excessively, constantly belittle yourself, or behave in a self-destructive manner, you will be difficult to love.
I’ve found it’s easiest to love the people who take care of themselves and love themselves the most and do it on a regular basis.
8. You are not honest
My personal rule of thumb is that it’s always better to be honest than lie, even if it’s just a small lie.
I had to grow into that rule and was better at it in certain situations than others, but the point is that people value honesty.
If you lie and someone finds out, people will back off on you.
Lovable people are those who attract others with positive traits like honesty and integrity. Work on these traits and it won’t be difficult to love you.
9. You are not good at communicating
If you are unable to talk to someone and work out disagreements, you are probably difficult to love.
All relationships, whether romantic or platonic, are strongest when communication between those involved is at its best.
Staying silent when you disagree or not being able to express your feelings to another person puts a strain on your relationship and makes it difficult to love.
10. You don’t think you deserve to be loved
I saved this point for the end because I think it is very important.
If you’re reading this because you don’t understand why it’s so hard for someone else to love you, then you should ask yourself if you even believe you deserve love.
I think it’s important to start from a point where you feel entitled to get love from friends, from a partner, or basically anyone.
If you look in the mirror and don’t even believe that you deserve to be looked at, loved, appreciated, and adored, you can’t expect anyone else to do the same.
In turn, it will be difficult for others to love you because you will constantly push them away.